Yalyn Blog for anything that is GreySky

Update

14 Apr 2020

I think I’ve reached another point of wanting to make a blog post again. There is a lot I want to get out of my head. I’ll attempt to save you some time by putting it into a list:

Art:

  • While I still have fun making fanarts/images manipulations, I am at a point where I want to stop all of it and make more original works instead. While 2019 was an enjoyable year of the PSO memes, I planned to stop making those altogether once 2020 hits. However there are a few more I want to do but it’s more of a parody than a meme.

  • In the discussions of fanart, I’ve gotten some folks to approach me for either requests/commissions or typical questions of “hey, do you have an album collection of your fanart?” While this is nice, I’ve declined almost every requests and commissions due to how uncomfortable it is for me to make money off of some Copyrighted and/or IntellectualProperty. If somehow I have a lot financial issues, then I’ll announce it. Also I feel uncomfortable making fanart on something I have limited knowledge about.

  • Mind you that it is only around 6 or less that communicated to me about my art. That is nothing compared to a very popular artist that would get these questions everyday. It is just that I wish someone would approach me for some games (GC or BB) or even have a single conversation with me … I feel like I am being used.

  • So in a nutshell almost 6 of these would approach me for my art while only 1 would ask me to play with them (this was Schtserv PSOGC, for just a game anyway.)

Loneliness:

  • The entire 2018 was pretty sad. I have almost no one to talk to or play with, even when PSOBB Desinty server launched as well. I did join a group/clan in PSO2JP but it I already sense that I don’t fit in at all, they have never touched PSO1 so that should give you a quick idea. I did manage to play with another player but he ended up transferring to a different ship and later quit playing PSO2 altogether. MHW was fun .. alone anyway.

  • 2019 was somewhat an improvement. Managed to join a guild in PSOBB Ephinea and played some games but I felt I was dragging them down or making them feel annoyed. After the Ephinea anniversary … I haven’t played with them anymore. At least I joined some voice chat here or there …

  • Also in 2019 I finally wanted to go back and play some PSOGC. The reason is simple. It wasn’t because of game balance, character data client save, or being able to jump into any server. It is because I wanted to redeem myself. My old character data is illegitimate and thankfully 75 percent of my characters are already corrupted, later it would end up being 100 percent. Feels awesome to start all-over.

  • There is a lot I want to share about a certain community I ended up joining for PSOGC but I’ll keep it short. I don’t like it. Gameplay debates are fine. But it comes to legitimacy debates, server debates, version debates, and playstyle debates, it feels as if I have gone back a decade. Please and I mean please, if you know a more mature or rather a group that just likes to play games and not argue 24/7 for PSOGC, let me know. (Actually don’t bother.)

  • One detail I hate to announce unless they ask me personally is that I’ve started playing PSO on 2003. I’ve started playing GC and V2PC on Schthack server in that year. I don’t like showing off on how much of an oldfag I am, it’s already cringe enough to see “DC veteran” or “GC vet” on introduction section in certain message boards. I just like to play PSO.

  • Either way it doesn’t really help what version of PSO I even play or even touch. It’s really hard to play with randoms. But I need to be more clear on the term “randoms.” Because when I use the term, it suggests I am talking about “bad” or “sub-par” players. I am talking about every kind of player. I used to players leaving without warning since I’ve ever started PSO. While it’s normal to me, it can get tiresome. I understand the whole meme around PW4 quests but it’s really sad to see players unable to stick around. I should mention that it isn’t even me. From a new player to a very fantastic TA player, they all would have a hard time finding a party to join. Just check out their streams on Twitch and you might see what I mean (maybe). So my advice if you are reading this and is still new to PSO series, you better find a friend or group to stick with. It fucking sucks to play alone.

  • Also I refuse to be part of any staff group for any PSO server. I already know how much of a shit show Schtserv staff was a decade ago. So to anyone who has a funny idea that I have any power to influence any admin to change something, no. I should be treated as a player/user just like anyone out there.

  • 2020 … MHW Icebrone … was also fun … alone anyway. I really like to play with others but I hate getting carried. Having a teammate making 60 to 70 percent damage while I do very little? No thanks. I feel satisfied being able to defeat the monster all by myself but unfortunately I felt the journey was very empty. I got to the destination at least by achieving MR150. I should have really opened up more by playing with others and not play solo.

  • I tend to question every person that likes to add me as a friend on Discord. “Why?” What makes me so interesting or what gave you any thought of adding me to your friends’ list? Only then to … never have a conversation with me months or even years later? It is a bit puzzling to me. Personally I never like being the type to start the conversation first, because I bet there are a lot more interesting or more fun folks to talk to than me. Or am I wrong?

Maybe there is more for me to add but that is what I want to dump out of my brain.

Stay safe.

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